Brent and Jewels Niccum went from being employees in a large corporation to being owners of a multinational company overnight!
But despite their success in business, they had trouble keeping their marriage on track.
Through the Imago Relationship counseling process, they discovered that the reactivity toward each other that was wrecking their relationship was based in their unconscious defenses that had been in place since childhood.
It didn’t take them long to figure it out, dismantle those defenses, and reconnect.
Like everything else they did in life, they worked hard on their marriage.
Soon they had a breakthrough, and now they are on a solid path toward, not only a healing and growth partnership, but a partnership to change the world through their life work together.
When a couple in conflict learns to reconnect, they recover all the time and energy previously wasted in that conflict.
That’s when they look for some way to work together to make the world a better place.
Brent and Jewels are living in what I call the World Impact Stage of marriage. Having moved through the Power Struggle Stage into a Mature Love, they now have a great foundation in place to be effective co-creators in their life work.
How did they get there?
By learning to consistently talk without criticism, listen without judgement, and connect beyond their differences.
Soon both of their sons, Lew and Cole, along with their families, began to join them on this journey toward healing and wholeness.
One day Jewels asked me, ‘Can you help us do for our company what we’ve done for our marriage and family?’
That’s when we introduced Crucial Conversations® Training to NCCM Company.
This ongoing training and coaching has become a foundational piece in developing a healthy corporate culture that is having an impact on their employees, their customers, and their community.
What Brent and Jewels realized was this:
“When we are dysfunctional in our marriage, everything under our charge will be dysfunctional in the same way. When we heal our marriage we can heal our family and our company.
“That’s because the same principles we’ve learned in our marriage apply in all our relationships. So our task is to teach everyone in our charge how to do what we are trying to do, not only at work, but everywhere in their personal relationships.”
After almost two years of training…
Overly aggressive employees have learned to listen and let others add to the collective wisdom of the team. This is resulting in better decisions and greater motivation.
Passive employees who would previously withdraw rather than confront a difficult situation are now bravely engaging in tough conversations with skills that help them to be both candid and respectful at the same time. This is preventing costly log jams in the production process.
Needless to say productivity, profits, job satisfaction, and customer loyalty have all risen substantially.
And a whole new generation of young leaders are being developed to expand this global enterprise.
Brent’s and Jewels’ impact is spilling over into their community.
Through the NCCM Transformation Foundation they are joining hands with the community to do many things including care for the homeless in Minneapolis, to mentor children in Wisconsin, and train and coach a new generation of social entrepreneurs.
Here’s what inspires me about the Niccum’s story.
What if thousands of leaders in companies, government agencies, and educational institutions worldwide were to follow this example?
What if these leaders started with their marriages, learning to talk without criticism, to listen without judgement, and to connect beyond their differences.
And then, what if these leaders led their families and organizations to do the same? We could see a revolution of remedies for our world’s ills!
Healing our world starts with us as couples.
What about you? Will you join with us in this revolution?
