VIDEO BLOG: How being “too nice” is bad for your marriage and what to do about it.

marriage relationship honesty

If you are being nice in order to ‘keep the peace’ in your marriage, that probably means you’re not talking about what you’re really feeling or what’s frustrating you.

If that’s the case, there are 7 reasons that show you’re not really being nice to your partner, to yourself, or your relationship.

This video provides a powerful tool that will help you to be honest in a way that will deepen your connection with each other and build a happier marriage. I invite you to watch it, and then use the questions below to discuss it together as a couple.

Discussion Questions

1. Have either of you been guilty of “being nice” as a way of avoiding sharing how you feel about something?

2. Thinking about the 7 bad things that can happen when you don’t share your feelings (see below), which one has affected your relationship?

  • Negative feelings I have don’t go away.
  • I internalize negative feelings and become bitter and depressed.
  • I internalize negative feelings and later explode over something insignificant.
  • My partner never gets to know me.
  • I don’t heal my childhood wounds.
  • My partner doesn’t get a chance to grow.
  • We won’t have the connection that gives us passion and full-aliveness.

3. How can you follow Tom and Jennifer’s example and begin using the Couple’s (safe) Dialogue to share how you feel and connect more deeply with your partner?

Click here to download the Couple’s Dialogue.

Here’s to being honest, more connected and happier with each other!

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    Author: Chuck Starnes

    Chuck Starnes is a relationship coach who is passionate about helping couples find the safety, connection, passion and full-aliveness they are looking for together. He also helps organizations become more productive by improving relationship and communication skills.